World News

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In some news that nobody on the face of the earth saw coming, it's been revealed that Henry Kissinger was a massive fan of Australian EDM duo Bombs Away. The family of the former Nobel Peace Price winning war criminal have confirmed to The Advocate that the US Diplomat used to actually love the Aussie party boys who broke...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Tributes are today pouring in for one of the titans of modern history, Doctor Henry Kissinger. The former US National Security Advisor and Secretary of State passed away yesterday afternoon Australian time, leaving behind a legacy of millions of deaths and hundreds of millions of lives ruined by his aggressive pursuit of America's Imperial interests - as well...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The man behind a swathe of classic and well loved movies has this year wasted a significant chunk of time. Ridley Scott has just spent months and months (and lots of other people's money) making a fancy new Napoleon movie, that simply won't live up to the one and only Napoleon movie. The man responsible for films like...

MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT Hip-hop icon Snoop Dogg has reportedly embarked on the production of a grunge album, blaming the creative decision on unexpected mood swings resulting from a temporary withdrawal from cannabis. Known globally for his love for marijuana, Snoop Dogg's decision to take a brief hiatus from his traditional west coast sound was met with shock and disbelief from fans. However,...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In some news from one of India's largest cities, a bunch of convicts have managed to win something quite significant. At roughly 2am this morning Betoota time, a bunch of loosers (sic) won an important game of cricket in Ahmedabad. The game of cricket in question was the final of the ODI World Cup, with 48 matches of...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Australian Ambassador to Scandinavia's South Australia has taken the phone off the hook this afternoon because the Danish Government is refusing to back down over the naming rights of Danish Feta. The correct term, according to Denmark, is Danish-style feta for any food stuff made outside their borders. However, businesses and regulatory bodies around...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT 1000's of highly trained experts have today been cast into an existential crisis, after a sledgehammer blow from an Australian intellectual. Members of the fields of science and economics are currently question the value of their life's work, after being informed by Tony Abbott that they are members of a 'climate cult that will eventually be discredited.' The...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The world of fashion is all set to experience another exciting trend, it can be confirmed today. Celebrity icon Kim Kardashian has today revealed a stunning new male underwear line, that has set tongues wagging around the globe. Famous for being famous, Kardashian is releasing a line of male undies that come with an inbuilt 'stiffy feature.' The...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The President of the United States of America has today reminded the world about his interesting position on certain things. The leader of America's 'progressive' party, Biden has been quite vocal over the last few weeks about supporting Israel's actions in Gaza. His position comes off the back of a long political career supporting the state of Israel,...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As hundreds of millions of ordinary citizens rally around the world to demand a ceasefire between Israel and Hamas, the rest of the world watches on with either sheer confusion or psychopathic indifference. Sadly, just like when millions marched against the War in Iraq, and millions marched against Vietnam - it seems the desperate pleas of the people are...