Anthony Albanese has today joined the Prime Ministers of New Zealand and Canada in a joint statement calling for a sustainable ceasefire in the Gaza Strip and an end to the “continuous suffering” of its citizens.

This comes after two months of hot death and horror and on the Gaza strip, with health authorities estimating that Israel’s offensive has resulted in a death toll of over 18,000 since the October 7th attacks.

“We are alarmed at the diminishing safe space for civilians in Gaza,” a joint statement released on Wednesday said, as the Israeli bombardment of Hamas militants in the enclave continued.

“The price of defeating Hamas cannot be the continuous suffering of all Palestinian civilians”

The joint statement equally condemned Hamas’ attack on Israel on 7 October and the “heinous acts of violence perpetrated in those attacks” that left 1,200 people dead and a further 200 taken as hostages.

This united call for a ceasefire from the usually silent Commonwealth nations comes as a shock to the hundreds of millions of protestors who marched globally to beg for their governments do just this – in protests that appeared to be falling on deaf ears until this morning.

It is not yet known why it has taken Canada and New Zealand so long to switch into gear, but a Parliament House insider says Albanese only just found out about all of this.

“He was so busy with all these premiers resigning that he hadn’t had the chance to catch up on everything going on over there” said one Parliamentary aid who works closely to Albanese.

“Not to mention all of the Christmas cards he has to send now that he’s PM. He really goes the extra effort with cursive handwriting”

It was believed that the Prime Minister was looking for his trendy ink calligraphy pen when he stumbled across a yellowing document titled ‘Gaza’ that the department Foreign Affairs had place on his desk nearly 60 days ago.

“Well what do we have here… OH MY GOD!!!” shouted Albanese.

“Is this why all those people are marching in Rabbitohs colours in the city??”

“I thought they were just celebrating ten years since the premiership but holy shit this is really serious”

“The voters will have to excuse me for missing all this!”

“This has gotta stop!”


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