WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
The island republic of Tasmania is kicking 2024 off with a bang, it can be confirmed today.
In a turn of events that few would have ever predicted, 97 percent of Tasmanians are now directly in line to the Danish throne.
This comes after Princess Mary became Queen Mary overnight – with her husband Frederik becoming the King of Denmark.
The appointment followed big Fred’s mum, Queen Margrethe II, standing down after 5 decades in the big seat.
That change at the head of the Danish crown now means that the overwhelming majority of Tasmanians are in some way able to lay claim to the throne through being blood relatives of the islands second favourite daughter (see Jacqui Lambie).
The 3 percent who are unable to claim are those who have fled from mainland capital cities to ruin Tasmania with their money and elitist attitudes in recent years.
The Danish Crown has yet to comment on what they plan to do with the 524,770 people who have just become directly linked to the throne, with suggestions that a number of royal positions may need to be created.
“Ja, this could be quite a problem for us,” explained Royal spokesperson Anderssen Aderssenssen.
“We can’t exactly be making all the Braydens from Devonport an Archduke.”
“And it’s very hard to figure out a line of succession, given what has happened to the gene pool in the Apple Aisle.”
“That fateful night in a Sydney pub during the Olympics really has caused a chain of events,” he sighed.
More to come.