In some news from one of India’s largest cities, a bunch of convicts have managed to win something quite significant.

At roughly 2am this morning Betoota time, a bunch of loosers (sic) won an important game of cricket in Ahmedabad.

The game of cricket in question was the final of the ODI World Cup, with 48 matches of play culminating in Australia winning the title for 6th time.

The 6th title for the new good guys of world cricket comes after the Australians dropped the first two games of the tournament, with some commentators assuming we were nearly as bad as the English.

However, after winning 8 straight on the way to the final, Captain Pat decided to send the Indians in to bat first.

Many were questioning the bold decision not to bat first in a World Cup final you won the toss in, but Captain Pat and his motley band of convict bowlers managed to put the clamps on.

Despite a fast start from the Indians, the sand-paper cheating Aussies managed to navigate the heavily doctored pitch and restrict the big hitters to 240.

That total then looked very scary when Australia slopped to 3 for not very many at all, fostering the thought that we might in fact be a bunch of convict losers.

However, one of the greatest heads to ever walk the earth strode out into the middle to take care of the situation, and continue on with one of the purple patches of form.

Deep Purple Travis Head tonned up, to secure a second straight man of the match award, to go with his man of the match award from the World Test Championship final.

That also secured the World Cup for the koala shit eating sons of Virat Kohli.

More to come.


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