Diet And Exercise? Pfffft Big Local Man Knows All You Need Is A Stubbie Of Gaviscon To Feel More Human In The Morning
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A local "Big Chungus" knows what he needs and wants in life, he says, which is why he'd rather knock the top off a Gaviscon stubbie in the morning to feel a bit better than adjust his lifestyle even a little bit.
With a weekend of great consumption planned, Desert Rock FM news reader Derek...
SKIMS Shapewear Introduce Industrial-Sized-Shoe-Horn Attachment
ALISON SCHENK | Entertainment | ContactIn a bold marketing move, Kim Kardashian’s shapewear line SKIMS has introduced a new accessory item to their slate, following public cries for some help, any help, to actually get inside them.
SKIMS Shapewear, or as anyone over the age of 30 knows it, ‘SPANX’, is an undergarment that helps create a smooth silhouette and sculpt your figure to...
‘Cost of Living Crisis’ Becomes Number 1 Get-Out-Of-Baby-Jail Free Card with Nation’s Parent
ALISON SCHENK | Entertainment | ContactAccording to data from the Australian Bureau of Statistics (ABS) 2023, Australian households across the country have been hit with the largest increase in their cost of living in recorded history.
But that’s not all they’ve been hit with.
As a result, the nation’s child-free Millennials have also been hit with a solid excuse to give their Boomer parents as...
A Guide To The Only 6 Hobbies You’re Allowed To Choose From When You’re A Man In Your Mid Thirties
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact
Are you a bloke in your mid thirties looking to start a hobby? Check out our short guide of the only six hobbies you're legally allowed to choose from.
Becoming An Expert On Hot Sauce
Whether it’s because your taste buds are starting to wither, or because you quite literally want to inject some spice into your life, nothing screams...
Local Woman Now Firmly In Her Late 30’s After Choosing Cherry Ripe From The Favourites Box
ALISON SCHENK | Entertainment | ContactA local ageing millennial was devastated today when she voluntarily and of her own free will, chose a Cherry Ripe from a Favourites box.
Even when there were other options available.
When Jessica Jessicason arrived at the office at a prompt 11:02 am this morning (she was late as she had a doctor's appointment to get a blood test as...
Dad Reminds Family This Is His House With Speakerphone Call In Middle Of Living Room
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTA Betoota dad is finally demanding some damn respect around here by making a speakerphone call in the middle of his full family living room.
Speakerphone technology was invented in 1948 as a way to trick people into thinking there were ghosts in the room with them, forcing them to sign up to help fight communism.
Nowadays the speakerphone function...
Local Man Smiles At Teenagers Drinking In Park As He Realises He Will Never Have As Much Fun As Them Again
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACTIn a heartwarming yet humbling experience, Local man, Steven Haywood (29) has crossed paths with a group of teenagers drinking in a park and realised, he will never have as much fun as them.
While on his way to meeting some friends and having a night out on the town, Steven encountered the young group arguing over who's hogging...
Woman Bored By The Lack Of Passion In Relationship Tells Boyfriend That ‘The Wire’ Is An Overrated TV Show
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA local woman struggling to maintain the passion in her long term relationship has come up with a genius solution this afternoon, which is guaranteed to get a bite out of her mild mannered boyfriend.
Clara Fawn tells The Advocate that even though she is deeply appreciative of how calm and gentle Tim is, his propensity of being as...
Report: Friend Just Messaging To Let You Know She’s Hungry
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactIn some completely mundane news, a couple of best mates have reached the ‘frequently updating each other with the most trivial parts of their day’ level of their relationship, also known as ‘codependency.’
It’s alleged Megan Fulham and Kaylee Khilarny chat to each other at a rate of every fifteen minutes throughout the work day, and surprisingly never run...
Mum Thought You Might Want Your Mail Opened For You
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTProving that some people still go the extra mile for customer satisfaction, Betoota mum Sophia Kenning (49) has taken the initiative and opened her adult daughter's mail for her.
Having to move back home since 2023 rent became a luxury item, Kenning’s daughter Lisa (25) has had to adjust to life back on the boob and all of its...
