ALISON SCHENK | Entertainment | Contact

In a bold marketing move, Kim Kardashian’s shapewear line SKIMS has introduced a new accessory item to their slate, following public cries for some help, any help, to actually get inside them. 

SKIMS Shapewear, or as anyone over the age of 30 knows it, ‘SPANX’, is an undergarment that helps create a smooth silhouette and sculpt your figure to highlight your natural curves. For decades people have been bruised and battered attempting to sculpt their figures while restricting their ability to breathe properly, and now, SKIMS appears to have seen a giant but svelte (ALT: but gorgeously silhouetted) gap in the market. 

In an exclusive interview with The Advocate (ALT: in a recent promotional interview), the reality star turned ‘entrepreneur’ (in the real way, not the Hinge profile way) stated “I mean, I of course don’t need to wear them myself, but the company has been hit with several lawsuits recently, because of the sheer amount of people who get in one and can’t get back out”, Kim added quietly, “personally it just seems like nobody wants to work [on getting into SKIMS] these days”. 

Kardashian went on to explain that because of this backlash, SKIMS has now released a ‘Shoe Horn but for Your Body™’ in order to help people slide into and out of their garments with the least amount of carnage possible. 

“I’ve tried oil, baby powder, lard, getting myself sewn into them, everything”, a Betoota Heights local told the Advocate following the announcement of the new item, “nothing can get me in or out of those things, so I’m excited to try the Shoe Horn but for Your Body™” she said before asking if that’s enough and can she have her free SKIMS now. 

The shapewear line, which currently boasts a 4 billion dollar net worth, is set to double its earnings this year due to the new addition, a financial insider (Gerry at the servo) advised The Advocate as we were choosing between Burger Rings and Toobs. 

More to come. 


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