A local bachelor has been forced to swerve into Woolies this morning, as he attempts to hide a night of frivolous passion from his colleagues.

Standing in the hosiery aisle of the Woolworths Metro on Tallis Street in downtown Betoota, local B2B Sales Specialist Lewis Kennedy has been forced to freshen up his office attire by pulling a crisp white Bonds tee out of a packet.

The type of guy who usually spends his weeknights doing very sensible things, it’s understood Lewis’ current predicament was brought on after landing himself in a spontaneous one-night-stand after a pub trivia night.

After venturing to join his team of uni mates at the Fox and Hunter Tavern, Lewis’ night reportedly took an unexpected turn when he bumped into an old Tinder match who was competing at a nearby table. 

Despite risking the chance of being expelled for mid-trivia phone usage, Lewis decided to trade a series of messages with his old acquaintance Samantha under the table, and they agreed to meet up for another round of drinks at the end of the evening.

Now less than eight hours on from his spontaneous romantic romp, an early morning meeting in the office forced Lewis to hit the rescue evac from his unfamiliar surroundings and head straight into the city for work.

Heading through the self-serve checkout with a Redbull to reignite his weary brain cells, witnesses say Lewis also decided to also load up with a packet of the world’s strongest breath mints, Fisherman’s Friend.

“If I think about it, I haven’t brushed my teeth since yesterday morning, that’s pretty rank hey” Lewis told our reporter.

“I’ll need to suck on the whole pack before I get anywhere near my desk, I think there might be a can of Lynx somewhere in my drawers too…”

More to come.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here