The Nation

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A local farmer explained to The Advocate this afternoon that he recently sold a goat to the nice Nepalese cooks from the Gelded Seahorse Hotel but as they were about to leave, he said the goat turned and gave him one last look. "I think he felt a bit betrayed," said district grazier Ken Lomond. "I...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The catastrophic Australian housing crisis is now starting to bleed out into every facet of society, triggering a very near collapse of the state. According to the Australian Medical Association (AMA), Queensland has failed to meet its ambulance transfer targets for the past seven years. In 2021 – 2022, ambulances spent 134,155 hours ramped outside the state's top 26...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Doing it tough at the moment? Struggling with the bills? Having your heart sink when the cashier reads out your total when you head to the supermarket? Well, you might be struggling with an economic situation that our governments and institutions have done absolutely fuck all to combat. Like the federal government refusing to put a cap on...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As families begin gathering for early Christmas celebrations, the cousins who were not 18 last year are on show this time around. This was certainly the case at one family get-together in Betoota's Flight Path District over the weekend. Recently-adult uni student, Beau Meriton (18) has just returned from his first years of studying paramedics at The Diamantina College, which...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A recent study has concluded that the steady degradation seen in Western civilisation since the fall the September 11 attacks is directly correlated to the supreme lack of animatronic talking dog and crude CGI talking baby movies. Cinemagoers from Betoota to New York City have been treated, or tortured, with successive comic book movies with...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The streets of Betoota are currently at war, as is the case in every family suburb across Australia at 3pm every day. It's a battle that dates back to the SS utes and the Tarago era, as the nation's mums find themselves in gridlocked traffic with construction workers who are rushing home after knock off to fill their lungs...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local bricklayer, Ernie Trevino (42) has today reluctantly turned down all of the vast high salt and high sugar options available to him from the worksite smoko van, instead settling on a packed lunch. It's not so much a financial or dietary decision, it's because he appreciates the domestic labour undertaken by his wife to include him alongside the...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A group of friends are today discussing one of the biggest issues in town. Friends and acquaintances of Bethany Wilson are currently trying to ascertain they origins of the big shiny new rock on her finger. The Betoota Heights woman caused a splash this morning, when she revealed a new piece of bling on the fourth finger of...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A once-in-a-lifetime surfing road trip has been met with a dampener today, as one naive southerner quickly learns that not every coastal community is as docile and affectionate as the more chilled towns below the Tweed River. Hailing from Mollymook on the NSW South Coast, Taj Curren (28) has been travelling north with his best mates since September, in...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT As another day dawns, another major bank has revealed a bumper profit. The Commonwealth Bank, the most powerful member of the banking cartel in Australia has today revealed that it's made a cash profit of 2.5 billion dollars. While 2.5 billion dollars seems like a pissy amount of coin, the eye watering amount is actually only the quarterly...