ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A local farmer explained to The Advocate this afternoon that he recently sold a goat to the nice Nepalese cooks from the Gelded Seahorse Hotel but as they were about to leave, he said the goat turned and gave him one last look.

“I think he felt a bit betrayed,” said district grazier Ken Lomond.

“I had a mob of goats in the yards, the blokes told me the next time I had a few goats in the yards, to give them a ring so I’ve rung them up this morning and told them to come out and get a goat if they still want one,”

“No worries, I thought. Couple hundred bucks for some old billy goat. So they turn up in this old Magna. Not a speck of clear coat left on it. There’s about six of them in it. You know, good on them. They pile out and choose their goat and they pay me. No worries,”

“But yeah, you know, I’m no leftie but I don’t like seeing things like a goat getting forced into the boot of a car. He didn’t want to go and just as they close the boot on him, the goat turned and gave me the filthiest look. I shit you not, that goat looked into my soul and spat on it. You ever looked a goat in the eye? They have this look about them. Almost alien. This goat knew he’d been mugged off,”

“That was about a week ago. I haven’t been to the pub since and to be honest, I might not go back for a while. You know. I don’t need the ghost of that goat looking at me. He probably got butchered in a bath. I hope they had a gun or a good knife to pith him with.”

The Advocate reached out to the cooks from the Gelded Seahorse for comment but have yet to receive a reply.

More to come.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here