EFFIE BATEMAN Lifestyle Contact

A frustrated office worker at her wits end with a needy client has today done a bit of online sleuthing, to see if ‘this Rebecca chick looks as much of a cunt as she’s acting.’

Commiserating with her fellow account managers, who too, all have at least one client that they’d punch in the face if given the opportunity, Chloe Harden takes to the stand to relay Rebecca’s latest stupid requests – which at this point, has become a daily spectacle.

“Oh my god, so Rebecca has decided she hates ALL the copy we’ve written for her”, says Chloe, looking apologetically over at the copywriters, “says she wants it to be more ‘fun’.”

“Which makes no sense as she’s selling fucking nursing scrubs? How do you make nursing scrubs FUN?!”

“Oh and Tom, she’s decided she doesn’t want all the ‘annoying keywords’ in the text, despite me explaining 750 times how SEO works.”

“Oh, and I almost forgot – apparently a man from the Philippines reckons he can do all her digital marketing for $2.50 a day.”


Letting out an exaggerated huff, Chloe announces she’s going to look up Rebecca online to see what she ‘looks like.’

“Wooow, she even looks like a cow too!”, laughs Chloe, who would probably say that about any photo, “hahahah!”

More to come.


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