TURKISH (H)AIRLINES: If Qantas didn’t already have enough to worry about, The Federal Government has finally agreed to start allowing international airline services to increase their operations in Australia.

With the announcement of a large expansion for Turkish Airlines, Australia can also expect a large expansion in Turkish Hairlines.

This comes after a nightmarish couple of years for the National Carrier, who have been accused of flight gouging, selling tickets to cancelled flights, and useing the pandemic as an excuse to sack their experienced baggage handlers and replacing them with unskilled labour hire workers on far less pay.

After first being accused of running a protection racket for Qantas by refusing to allow Qatari Airlines to increase their local services because they have a history of strip searching female Australian passengers, the Federal Government has suddenly approved a proposal for Türkiye’s airline capacity to expand from seven weekly flights to 35

The increase of Turkish Airlines services in Australia is expected to be delivered by the middle of 2025, including rights to operate routes to countries other than Türkiye.

However, the sheer increase of flights to Istanbul is enough for celebration – as balding Australian men begin cheering enthusiastically around the nation.

A sharp increase of Australians wearing doorag-style headwear is expected across the country over the next few years, as droves of single men return from that part of the world with a fringe that you’d have to charge your barber twice as much for.

Men with fucked teeth and crooked noses also have cause for celebration, as they begin planning their 3 week getaways to the Anatolian Peninsula, which they will not be documenting on social media in any way shape or form.


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