Local events coordinator Tara Rockman is tearing her hair out this evening as she attempts to tick off all her Christmas shopping at North Betoota Westfield.

Carrying an assortment of shopping bags in her left hand and a can of Redbull in her right, Tara tells The Advocate a busy end to the year has meant she hasn’t had the time to do any online shopping, and instead is forced to shop in a big mall like it’s 2014.

After crossing off her Mother with a fig scented Ecoya candle from Meyer, and fixing up her Dad with a new straw hat from Surf Dive n’ Ski, Tara has set her sights on her dumb boyfriend Jason.

“Boyfriends aye, what do you get em?” Tara lamented to The Advocate.

Determined to get him something to open on Christmas Day, Tara found herself drawn to an EB Games sale when her memory twigged that her boyfriend had sent her a link to a new PlayStation game, right after he told her he “wasn’t fussy”.

Entering into the store that smelt of bad body odour and plastic figurines, it didn’t take too long before Tara accepted her boyfriend was going to be opening a gift card for Christmas.

“Do you have this one, Call of Duty: Modern Warfare III – Vault Edition?” Tara asked the neckbeard behind the counter, showing him an image her boyfriend had sent her.

“Oh my lady, I’m sorry that one is a download only,” the EB Games server chuckled, scratching his pubey beard as he laughed.

“Ahhh but I really want him to open something, can I buy it here and you put it in a case for me?” Tara nudged.

Watching on as he pulled a $150 Playstation Store gift card off a rack, Tara accepted defeat and decided she was just happy to get the hell away from the festering crowd of last-minute shoppers who were also spending their night coughing and spluttering all over each other.


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