A packet of salt & vinegar chips from a hospital vending machine are tasting more stale than usual today as a local nurse ruins her lunch break with a scroll of Instagram.

Tired and devoid of any Christmas spirit, Sienna Warmsley (28), a Nurse at Betoota Ponds General, had only just sat down for a snack when she opened her phone to see her fucknuckle cousin Braidon Ray-White post a bunch of photos from a boat party on Lake Betoota.

After working tirelessly since January saving lives and putting up with bullshit behaviour from hospital visitors who whinge more than the patients they visit, Sienna says it’s a bit of a stitch up that people like her real estate agent cousin get to party on a boat while she works a real job.

“Don’t you think it’s a bit fucked that I’ve been worked to the bone all year, and yet my 24-year-old cousin who hands out business cards for a living gets to drink champagne and snort coke on a yacht,” Sienna told our reporter.

“Not to mention I’ve been working overtime shifts all year to try and get my foot in the property market, and that little turd will probably price gouge me, a member of his own family next week at a rental inspection.”

Scrolling through all nine of Braidon’s Instagram stories, Sienna watched on as her cousin and 20 other doorknobs from Century 21 Betoota popped champagne in rayon shirts on the lake.

Briefly thinking about her own work Christmas, which involves everyone from her hospital wing donating a baked cake to the tearoom this Friday, Sienna told The Advocate she wouldn’t think twice about letting her cousin rot in a waiting room chair if he comes in with a cut foot from a broken glass.

“Yeah if something happens on that boat don’t call me to bandage him up.”

“I’ll be the first out the door at 10pm tonight and no amount of blood loss after some glass shards to a foot will convince me otherwise.”


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