As families begin gathering for early Christmas celebrations, the cousins who were not 18 last year are on show this time around.

This was certainly the case at one family get-together in Betoota’s Flight Path District over the weekend.

Recently-adult uni student, Beau Meriton (18) has just returned from his first years of studying paramedics at The Diamantina College, which means he has just spent eight months binge drinking up to four or five nights a week, and eating from a bain marie for every meal.

Aside from the fact that Beau has clearly put on close to 30 kilos, his missing eyebrow also is also attracting a lot of attention from those family members that are openly jealous of his lifestyle.

With the older cousins gathering round to hear him spin yarns about the goldilocks zone of being young with no responsibilities, and surrounded by chicks, Big Beau also has a newfound zest for life – after partying as hard as he can for a year.

As the afternoon wears on, Beau is not once seen without a full glass of lager in his hand and does not appear to get any more pissed than he was at the start of the day.

Anyone who had predicted that the young fella would not be able to keep up with his older cousins eventually realised that had been gravely mistaken, as the others went down for naps one by one.

By the time Nanna was doing another head count for the second serving of Christmas cake, the big fella was also doing a head count for his own concoction.

And like Nanna’s famous brandy soaked-fruitcake, Beau is also now at the point of the day where he’s keen to fuck around with dark liquor.

“Who’s up for a rum?” he asks his increasingly banged up cousins, as he searches for the bottle of Bundy that he gifted to himself in the Kris Cringle.



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