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Local bachelor Tyson Pollard (29), residing on a Betoota Heights street renowned for its extravagant Christmas light displays, is reportedly experiencing a newfound empathy for the Grinch.
Tyson, who has long prided himself on “not really giving a shit about Christmas”, recently found his patience tested as his once-quiet street transformed into a dazzling spectacle of twinkling lights, inflatable snowmen, and synchronized music, drawing the world’s loudest crowds from all over Betoota
“At first, I thought it was cool, you know? The whole neighborhood coming together to create this winter wonderland, it became a local tourist attraction” he says.
“it was actually great for dates, right next to my front door. Perfect.”
“But now, I’m starting to feel like the Grinch, the lights are blinding, hearing the cheer of little kids all night really grinds my gears these days.” confessed Tyson, who lives alone with his minimalist decor that consists of a single potted plant.
“It’s doing something to me. The joyful noise is wearing me down”
As the festive spirit continues to escalate, Thompson is reportedly contemplating drastic measures to reclaim his peace.
“I can’t lie, I’ve thought about finding the streets power and just letting at it with some wire cutters.” Tyson said.
While committing a federal crime wasn’t something Tyson thought he would be doing this festive season, he says he is slowly running out of ideas to ease the pain of hearing loud families for 6 hours a night every night.
“I simply don’t know what to do, I truly do feel like the Grinch.”
“Maybe those damn kids should’ve kept it down and he wouldn’t have turned into an evil green mutated elf thing”
