A family argument over what Christmas movie would signify the beginning of their summer holidays has gotten a lot more complicated this afternoon.

Shane Peacocke (66) says Lethal Weapon should at least be considered – if not, mandatory – for this evening’s viewing.

“Love Actually!? Get real!” he tells his wife and daughters.

“We watch that every year. It never gets any better. Now Lethal Weapon, that’s a Christmas Movie.

According to the IMDB criteria for a Christmas film, the film must primarily be set during the Christmas season. The vast majority of great Christmas movies have their climax on Christmas Eve, but any time in the stretch from post-Thanksgiving until New Year’s qualifies.

While the birdbrain film buffs on the internet have spent 10 years debating the legitimacy of Die Hard as a Christmas movie, only the true connoisseurs of modern cinema ever think to include the breathtaking 1987 police thriller Lethal Weapon on this list.

And according to Shane, it’s as much a Christmas movie as Love Actually.

“How the hell is that a Christmas movie, dad?!” asks his oldest daughter Niamh, who just wants to swoon over an aging Colin Firth.

Shan chuckles.

“Ohh Niamh. So young, so innocent”

His patronising tone is not helping his pitch for an extremely violent cop movie from over thirty years ago, but he doubles down.

“The entire film is set during that time of the year. There’s Christmas lights on every house that explodes”

“Not to mention the Christmas Tree Lot shoot out, where Narcotics Sergeant Martin Riggs goes undercover to make a deal with cocaine traffickers, before blowing his cover and violently killing them all with a highly powerful firearm. See, he’s troubled this cop, he’s a Vietnam veteran who recently lost his wife and is now suicidal and erratic – it’s like he doesn’t care if he gets killed! Which is the complete opposite of his reluctant partner, Homicide Sergeant Roger Murtaugh – a black guy from a loving suburban family who insists he’s getting too old for this shit!”

“Speaking of, I’m getting to old to waste my evenings watching boring films about rich poms getting so toey that they ruin their lives. It’s time to instil a bit of culture in this household.”

The family relent after noticing that Shane has gotten that crazy look in his eyes usually reserved for Denzel movies.


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