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After days of tense negotiations in the sweltering heat of Dubai, an historic deal has been made by almost 200 countries at the United Nations climate summit.

The agreement offers a plan to keep the target of 1.5 degrees Celsius within reach, and maybe transition away from all that shit that makes heaps of money but fucks the environment

This marks the first time in three decades nations have agreed on a collective effort to treat the planet slightly better than it was throughout 200 years of burning fossil fuels at an accelerated rate.

It includes new measures to cope with climate change to do with adaptation, finance, flexibility and publicly shaming anyone who uses take away coffee cups and plastic straws – with $A127 billion committed so far.

COP28 President Sultan al-Jaber has praised the deal.

“We have confronted realities and we  have set the world in the right direction. We have given it a robust action plan to keep 1.5 within reach. It is a plan that is led by the shame. Shame for an individual, or small business, that find themselves in a position where they end up using single-use plastic – and therefore should shoulder the blame for all of the oil-soaked penguins in the Gulf of Mexico and the Pacific Island nations who losing their beaches to rising sea levels.

The future role of fossil fuels has been by far the most contentious issue at the COP28 summit – with some countries seeking a full phase-out, and others refusing to agree to such tough language, especially when it comes to the multinational tax-dodging corporations who pay handsomely for politicians to ignore the issues that keep getting raised at these summits.

Australia’s Climate Change Minister Chris Bowen, who attended this important world leaders event alone because Prime Minister Albanese has been getting in trouble from the Murdoch media for the amount of time he spends overseas massaging the diplomatic relationships that the last government left extremely strained with countries far more powerful and globally relevant than us, has labelled the outcome of the climate conference as a turning point.

“No more plastic straws. The whole renewable thing can wait. But we need to focus on shaming individuals first and foremost” said Mr Bowen

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