Insult Added To Injury After Lions Fan Learns His Ascot Home Is Currently Being Burgled
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A Lions fan in Melbourne has had his afternoon turned upside down for the second time after receiving a notification that there's been some motion detected in his Ascot living room.
Thinking it must be one of his adult children coming over to use the pool or borrow the Jaguar, Ascot man Malcolm Howard...
Girlfriend Who’s Never Been Into Blokey Comedy Before Suspiciously Very Keen On Watching C*A*U*G*H*T
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA woman who has consistently rebuffed her boyfriend’s attempts to get her interested in blokey TV shows has oddly switched her tone this week, by being the one to suggest a war comedy series.
Snuggled up on the couch as they embarked on their usual nighttime activity of mindlessly scrolling through Stan to find a TV show, Laurie Henderson...
Marketing Manager Reclines With Glass Of Scotch After Several Hours Discussing What Font To Use In Brochure
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA Marketing and Branding manager paid a fuck load to make everyone else's jobs difficult has rewarded himself for some ‘hard work’ this week, having spent gruelling several hours deciding on what font to use for a brochure that no one will ever look at.
Known as the constant thorn in the side to his marketing team, John Beechum...
Local IT Guy Talks About His Energy Drinks Like An Expert Sommelier Writing For The New York Times
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA man who sits behind a computer making sure other computers are working in a computer company has today revealed that he's actually a cultured man of refined taste.
Anthony Hull could be heard explaining to his coworkers that he was not a fan of ‘the bean juice’, and much preferred to kickstart his day with an energy...
Boyfriend Struggling To Understand How Using Full Stops In His Text Messages Means He’s Angry At Her
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA local woman has found herself trying, and failing, to explains the nuances of text messages to her boyfriend Ben, who’s evidently no where nearly as sensitive as she is at picking up potential shifts in tone.
Marley Henderson, a self confessed anxiety girlie, has tried to train Ben to stop texting as though he’s compiling work minutes for...
Brutally Hungover Woman Taps On To Bus With Apartment Elevator Swipe
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT
Local French Quarter girl, Kelly Bourne (28), has today mistakenly used her apartment swipe to tap onto the bus in a moment she'd rather just forget.
The situation unfolded at a Betoota Grove bus stop moments after Kelly had left a friend's place she had crashed at after a pointless night celebrating something she won't remember in 10 years...
Building Inspector Just Bursts Out Laughing Rocking Up To New Build Allegedly Completed To Lock Up Stage
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Somewhere on the furthest fringe of Betoota Heights lies a home that was completed just a few days ago, and it has more defects than your garden-variety French Bulldog or common Pug.
Not only that, but in the hours after the final screw was driven into the last doorframe, the builder was "phoenixed," and the...
Woman Accepting In-Laws Offer To Bankroll Wedding Unaware She’s Just Made A Deal With The Devil
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA Betoota Ponds bride-to- be has unknowingly entered into a binding contract with the devil, after naively agreeing to accept money from the in-laws to bankroll her upcoming wedding, it’s reported.
Like many Australians, Tabitha Morgan and her boyfriend Ryan have both been struggling with the cost of living, which was also driving a wedge in their wedding plans...
Random Guy At The Back Of Beer Garden Showcases Random Tattoo That Pays Homage To Random Hobby
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACTRandom local man sitting at the back of a pub beer garden on his own really wants to show someone his new tattoo but has to take his shirt off and hopes they don't mind.
Local Betoota Heights man, Thomas Boyd (24), has found himself alone in a beer garden while waiting for his friends to arrive, like some...
Brisbane Man That Says He Doesn’t Like Footy Still Getting Around The Lions Surely
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACTLocal Brisbane man who doesn't really care for rugby league or AFL that much will surely be getting around the Lions and Broncos this weekend.
Spike Webster(26) isn't really a footy guy and doesn't really get sport in general but has found himself in an awkward position as his city's two premier sporting clubs have both made the grand...
