Newcastle Uni Grad Bombs Job Interview In Sydney After Referring To Employer As ‘Brus’
6 September, 2016 10:35
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Recent Newcastle University graduate and aspiring employee, Jake Gerrard (23) has left Sydney with his tail between his legs after stuffing up a job interview with a prestigious accounting firm.
The chance encounter, which was lined up by his aunty's flash new husband, Graham who lives in Manly - has been spoiled by the fact the fact...
Man has 99 problems and they’re all related to his alcoholism
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
KEVIN POWDER KNOWS ALL the words to 'You Belong To Me' by Taylor Swift unironically. It's a ripper yarn that every young beer enthusiast should know and belt out whenever the opportunity arises.
But Mr Powder confided in The Advocate this morning that his unfettered alcohol abuse is taking his mind off his many problems, with...
Baird Calls For Better Transport Options As Bridge Tournament Closes Down Kings Cross
4 September, 2016 13:10
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
For the first time in his premiership, Mike Baird has admitted that there might be other factors involved in the anti-social behaviour that can occur when 10,000 people walk on the same street in an evening. That is, outside the consumption of alcohol and being young.
The Premier has today called for better late night transport...
Man Pops Into Local Travel Agent Like It’s 1999
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Despite learning how to read and send emails, local bridge and wharf carpenter Lindsay Scoles considers booking international travel online a bridge too far.
The 27-year-old is as computer literate as most pensioners and orangutangs are nowadays, but the thought of parting with his hard-earned money through the information superhighway fills him with pangs of anxiety...
Critically Endangered Redfern Junkie Spotted Near Trendy Japanese-Inspired Gastropub
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A NEW GROUP of critically endangered drug addicts have been spotted close to a trendy new Japanese-inspired gastropub, in Sydney's Inner South. Before being shooed away by a 19-year-old bartender who grew up in the Hills District and now sings girls Mac Demarco songs in his shared bedroom on the top floor of a Surry...
QLD Greengrocers To Commence The Sale Of Milton Mangoes This Summer
1 September 2016
MERV HARRIS | Brisbane| Contact
In a move that was described as a ‘game changer’ by the fruit and vegetable association Fresh Markets Australia, it was announced this morning that independent fruit shops around the country will begin selling the famous Milton Mango, as of later this month.
It was widely speculated in horticulture circles that the contract to sell...
Local sociopath to run half marathon for himself, not charity
1 September, 2016. 12:34
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
WHEN YOUNG PROFESSIONAL MEN plan to do something unnecessarily physical, it's usually in the name of charity.
Some do the Tough Mudder for the Cancer Council, others run for miles without stopping for the Royal Flying Doctor.
But for Brett Lystin, he's running the upcoming Blackmore's Half Marathon for himself - and nobody else.
"I can't...
Local ugly person makes social media display pictures them as a baby
31 August, 2015 11:30
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
IN WHAT'S BEING INTERPRETED as a thinly veiled attempt to deflect some of the self-loathing Nathan Truman has for himself, the 27-year-old petrol station attendant has made his various display pictures across his social media accounts images of him as a baby.
"Look man, I'm just working with what I've got," he said.
"Everybody loves babies....
‘Blackface isn’t THAT racist,’ says man who shouts at his wife in public
29 August, 2016. 14:34
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
WHETHER SHE'S ALLEGEDLY LOOKING TO rekindle a high school romance or spent just a little too much on the credit card this month, Ally Greenport is frequently the target of her husband's short temper.
Despite his potentially harmful shortcomings, Mark Greenport has lashed out today at what he calls the 'P.C. Brigade' by...
“After Living In Byron For 6 Months, You Really Get Sick Of These Blow-Ins”
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
After living in the alternative, eco-friendly beach town of Byron Bay for just over 6 months, Kiara Godfrey (29) says she's starting to understand the subtle undertow of anti-tourist sentiment across the district.
"They just don't get it," she says.
"Byron Bay isn't just a holiday. It's a lifestyle, a state of mind,"
Kiara is one of the many expatriated city...