Local News

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA woman flying from Brisbane to Melbourne was seen panicking as she checked her handbag this afternoon, mere moments before it was her turn to enter the security check area.  Rifling through multiple zip pockets as the line forged on, the young woman may have been able to get away with the whole process looking innocent if she hadn’t...

MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACTA break-up worthy argument between a disgruntled couple dining out came to an abrupt halt after a cheerful waitress began her exuberant recitation of the daily specials. The arguing pair, Luca Hudson (32) and Sarah Kidis (29), had been embroiled in a heated disagreement over Luca's insistence on him going out with the boys after their dinner,  when their...

MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACTIn an astonishing display of urban bravado, local city boy Nathan Pissani (27),  has been caught in a web of lies, deceit and self delusion, claiming he knows how to drive, he just hasn't gotten around to the paperwork of it all.  Nathan's main argument for the lack of legal driving capabilities stem from the fact that he was...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA woman invited to a Halloween party has informed her boyfriend that he has absolutely no say in their couples costume, and that he has exactly three days to grow a moustache or else he’ll be rocking a fake one all night. The self confessed Swiftie, Renee Mullens, tells The Advocate that she had always planned on dressing like...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The rugby world (which actually does exist outside of Australia) is today reeling from a huge announcement. Followers of the game that old toffs claim is played in heaven, are currently grappling with a major shakeup ahead of the Rugby World Cup final in Paris this weekend. With South Africa and New Zealand set to go head to...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA Betoota Heights bloke has this week left his girlfriend one step closer to staging an intervention, after yet again purchasing a T-shirt that is best described as ‘commuter friendly textile core meets 90s screensavers.’ The man in question, Anthony Langdon, 33, is alleged to have gotten really into expressing his personality with garish party shirts, because evidently his...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA Betoota Heights woman who hasn’t had so much as a sniffle in five years has today revealed the secret behind her superior immune system, which has nothing to do with Chinese herbal medicine and more so some of the weird shit she put in her mouth as a kid. Melanie Tatsworth, 31, tells The Advocate that she thoroughly...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA local bloke has this week attempted to convince a Night Owl clerk that his late night purchases are completely innocent, insisting that the reason he was shopping for a packet of balloons and box of cream chargers at 10pm was because he was simply ‘doing some late night Birthday shopping.’ Speaking to the clerk who was working the...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A Betoota Basin grazer boasted this morning at the French Quarter Farmer's Market that animals on his property are treated with the same respect that he treats members of his own family - especially his sons. The price of lamb has fallen off the chart, along with many other related commodities, making it unfeasible for...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact High on the cool slopes around Betoota, fruit growers are ready to harvest their spring varieties. To do that, growers need a steady stream of exploitable foreign workers who are just happy enough to either be earning Australian dollars or backpackers who want to stay in the country for another year. One such grower is Hardy...