EFFIE BATEMAN Lifestyle Contact

A Betoota Heights bloke has this week left his girlfriend one step closer to staging an intervention, after yet again purchasing a T-shirt that is best described as ‘commuter friendly textile core meets 90s screensavers.’

The man in question, Anthony Langdon, 33, is alleged to have gotten really into expressing his personality with garish party shirts, because evidently his deep, bellowing voice and decibel breaking laugh doesn’t garner him enough attention. Alas, the concept of a party shirt would be perfectly fine if Anthony had any taste, but according to his girlfriend Taylor, it’s less ‘cool Hawaiian’ and more an assault on the eyes.

“He’s got about fifty of them now”, says Taylor, “and now that he’s known as the party shirt guy, that’s what everyone buys him for his Birthday.”

“His top drawer looks like Sesame Street having a gang bang with the muppets.”

“It’s like if Jackson Pollock and Picasso were somehow able to procreate but their son wasn’t talented.”

“If AI tried to recreate Magnum PI but someone poured a can of coke on the central processing unit halfway through.”

“If a dog ate a bag of skittles and vomited on an RSL carpet.”

“I could go on.”

More to come.


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