How To Use Your Super To Pay For A Liberal Party Membership
HARVEY THOMAS | Outrage | CONTACT
We all know it, Liberal party memberships don’t come cheap. If they did come cheap just anybody could sign up. Don’t imagine it. I did and I’d sooner read Bill Shorten’s autobiography with a foreword by Clementine Ford before imagining that travesty again.
Some have accused the Liberal party of charging a premium membership price because we they are trying to...
Woolworths Attempt To Avoid Senate Inquiry By Offering To Bring Back Ooshies
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
One half of the country's supermarket cartel have today gotten on the front foot to try and avoid a senate enquiry.
With the nation facing eye-watering grocery bills, parliament has agreed to support the Greens' call for a Senate Inquiry into exactly how the price gouging supermarket duopoly is price gouging ordinary Australians.
The inquiry will see head...
Nation’s Aging Emos Now In Their Picnic Blanket Concert Era
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
In humbling news for anyone who used to go to Soundwave, mosh pits are out and picnic blankets are in, The Advocate can report.
The news comes as former Kerrang! readers across the nation have been spotted over the last several months enjoying screamo tunes from the comfort of a Kmart picnic rug paired with a nice...
Nations JB Hi-Fi Workers Congregate At Good Things Festival For Yearly Sales Conference
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
A sea of black skinny jeans and band tees are flooding cute parklands, racecourses and the Brisbane Showgrounds this weekend as JB Hi-Fi hosts its annual sales conference.
Off the back of a bumper year of iPhone and laptop sales, The Advocate understands JB Hi-Fi has invited its entire workforce to once again gather at Good Things...
Local Plumber Coming Home Drunk Awakens To Find He Signed With The Bulldogs Too
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
A local plumber has woken up to discover an absolute humdinger of a hangover and learn that in his drunken state he too signed to the Canterbury Bulldogs for 2024.
Last night, Betoota plumber Keiran Pilk (34) and his colleagues got a little silly at the pub, because they felt like it.
Unable to remember much of the last...
Mum Calls At 7:13am On A Sunday To Confirm She’s Already Pre-Ordered The Ham
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
A luxurious Sunday sleep-in has been interrupted today after a local Mum decided to make an emergency call to map out Christmas.
After enjoying a big Saturday night on the piss, Justin Carney (32) had mentally booked himself in for an extended bed rotting session.
But after taking a swig of the warm Gatorade sitting by his bed,...
Mate Who Turned Up With El Cheapo Beer Spotted Drinking Everything But His El Cheapo Beer
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
A cheeky local man has been raked over the coals by his mates this afternoon.
The generally well liked local air-conditioning mechanic named Brendon Thomas was given a serve a short time ago after being spotted with something suspicious in his hand.
“Oi, where’d you get that CC from,” laughed a mate of Brendon, who had a very good idea...
Kissinger’s Posthumously Released Spotify Wrapped Surprisingly Reveals Aussie Duo As Top Artist
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
In some news that nobody on the face of the earth saw coming, it's been revealed that Henry Kissinger was a massive fan of Australian EDM duo Bombs Away.
The family of the former Nobel Peace Price winning war criminal have confirmed to The Advocate that the US Diplomat used to actually love the Aussie party boys who broke...
Tributes Flow For One Of The World’s Most Beloved War Criminals: “Dead At 100, Far Too Late”
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
Tributes are today pouring in for one of the titans of modern history, Doctor Henry Kissinger.
The former US National Security Advisor and Secretary of State passed away yesterday afternoon Australian time, leaving behind a legacy of millions of deaths and hundreds of millions of lives ruined by his aggressive pursuit of America's Imperial interests - as well...
