LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT

A local plumber has woken up to discover an absolute humdinger of a hangover and learn that in his drunken state he too signed to the Canterbury Bulldogs for 2024.

Last night, Betoota plumber Keiran Pilk (34) and his colleagues got a little silly at the pub, because they felt like it.

Unable to remember much of the last round of drinks or the trip home, Pilk emerged from bed this morning only to see he was wearing a Bulldogs training kit and had a freshly inked contract sitting on his dresser.

“Oh my God, there’s photos,” stated a dehydrated Pilk, finding photos taken last night featuring himself sharing a drunken Chinese meal with Gus Gould.

“This can’t be happening! What the doggies really need is a half and I’m a plumber!”

In a situation that Gould describes as ‘totally above board, fight me’, the Bulldogs have made a plethora of signings over the last two years attracting premiership winners, rep players and some randoms, to join a club about to celebrate their 20 year anniversary of actually winning something.

According to Advocate rugby league reporter Duncan Packters-Crumb, the signing of Pilk confirms the Bulldogs have all but made it clear they are willing to sign anyone even if they’ve never played for Penrith and even if they’ve never played rugby league.

At the time of writing the Bulldogs have not confirmed what Pilk’s starting position will be.

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