A luxurious Sunday sleep-in has been interrupted today after a local Mum decided to make an emergency call to map out Christmas.

After enjoying a big Saturday night on the piss, Justin Carney (32) had mentally booked himself in for an extended bed rotting session.

But after taking a swig of the warm Gatorade sitting by his bed, Justin’s sleep-in was interrupted when his mother decided to randomly call, an act which Justin stressed was due to some kind of family emergency.

“MORNING!!” Justin’s mother chirped into the phone with the enthusiasm of a lady who’s already had two strong flat whites from her pod machine.

“I’m just calling to say hello!”

Wiping some crusty sleep from his eyes as he clocked the time, Justin was relieved to learn no one in his family was in immediate danger, and instead that his Mum was simply calling to discuss the menu for Christmas lunch.

“I was watching SBS last night and Adam Liaw, you know Adam, he did this roast pumpkin with macadamias and I think I might give it a go this year, what do you think?”

“We’ve got 15 coming so maybe I’ll do four meats and ask everyone to bring a salad. If I email you the recipe for a Chinese noodle salad, could you make that?”

With less than six weeks until Christmas, Justin decided it was just best to let his mother indulge in the extensive planning of the big day and just place his phone on speaker and rest it on his pillow.

“Yeah Mum, sounds great…” Justin mumbled, reaching for another squirt of blue Gatorade to cure his impending headache. 

“And I’ve already pre-ordered the ham from Bottrell’s Butchers already, but I might need to get a leg of lamb too,” his Mum continued.

“This morning I’ve made two Mars Bar slices and the base for a cheesecake, it’s already in the freezer.”

“Anyway how’s your morning, what have you been up to?”


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