LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
An up-and-coming political commentator has condemned Prime Minister Anthony Albanese for his recent diplomatic trips in a reopened world that really needs a hug right about now.
According to Graham Sobford (70) of Betoota Heights, people need to do their own research about Albo, something he does every day between 8am and 8pm when Sky News is on his TV.
Despite the fact Albo has taken a relatively normal amount of diplomatic trips during his tenure, Sobford claims that being out of the country for work is exactly the same as holidaying in a 5-star Hawaiian resort during generation-defining catastrophic bushfires, something he forgets defending every day for a month four years ago.
Although Albo has done nothing but protect Sobford’s interests since getting elected, the professional complainer has declared that ‘Airbus Albo’ (a cool nickname he says he invented) needs to be sacked so he can start making ‘flights to wokeville’ on his own dime.
“Travel wise and wokewise, he’s just gone too far. While he’s flying around the world to Ukraine, America and China… We’ve got problems back home” roars Sobford as his wife and adult kids pretend to not realise his recent pivot into political culture wars.
“Back home we’ve got Welcome To Countrys before every football match”
“We’ve got the alphabet community marching down Oxford street without fear of poofter bashing”
Sobford, who voted Yes to the gay marriage plebiscite and No to the Indigenous Voice, has never been that overtly political. But his descent into right-wing online algorithms and Murdoch’s TV propaganda now means that he is angry about everything, as he looks back on history with rose coloured glasses.
“Life wasn’t so bad under the Liberals when you think about it” he says, in reference to the last 9 years of economic destruction and bungled public health orders.
“Not that the young people would know that. They have gone soft.”
“And Albo’s let them go soft”
“See Albo, that’s what too much time in the clouds does to you, makes you soft.”
“Put that in the article, put “‘That’s what too much time in the clouds does to you, makes you soft’ quipped a nonchalant Sobford nonchalantly.
“Dunno how your usual wokeToota readers are going to react to facts, probably choke on their lattes! Made of soy milk no doubt!”
“That’s gold! You have to put that in as well!”
MORE TO COME.