IN-Focus

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A mildly-unpopular doctor's son has lashed out at the in-form Wallabies this morning after he revealed to friends and family that he would've won 'a significant amount of money' on a weekend multi-bet if the boys in gold went down to Ireland on Saturday night. "Very annoyed still," said Curtis Mullholland III, a 28-year-old full-time-stay-at-home-son who enjoys the finer...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact "It feels like someone's thrown sand in my eyes," he said. And he told our reporters who knows who that person is. Himself. Working yesterday on a local residential building site, Dennis Hardy said his boss told him not to look at people welding because it's not good for your eyes. He caught him looking at the welders working more than once,...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact Financial advisor Campbell Hislock (34) is furious at himself for telling co-workers about his colourblindness as he has now been given the responsibility to explain what random objects look like to him on a daily basis. Since casually mentioning his visual impairment that means he sees the colour green as more of a grey, Hislock...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact "Yes," he said. "If you buy your kid a three-wheeled scooter because they can't ride a two-wheeled variety, you are setting your child up for failure." That's the opinion of a parent who is too broke to be a yuppie. Learning to ride a bike or scooter should be punctuated with skinned knees, elbows and undiagnosed mild concussions - not hugs...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact "Tyler!" he screamed up the stairs. "Tyler! You better not be playing that fucking game!" Tyler was playing that fucking game. In a statement made earlier this week - or last week sometime - the NBN chief, Bill Morrow, took time out of his busy schedule of shitting the bed around the nation to tell taxpayers that their NBN was being...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Staff at the Bureau of Meteorology have suffered the same relative fate as their broadcasting cousins today after plans to freeze their pay for the next five years has become public. A growing number of employees at the nation's peak meteorological organisation are joining a strike, which is supported by a petition to give the weather-folk what...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact They've been playing the Simpson Desert music scene for a number of years now but for French Quarter surf-pop-rock outfit, The Gurning Goblins, success has always eluded them. Until now. Frontman Sock Davidson sat down exclusively with our least qualified and most unnecessary member of The Advocate's staff, the music reporter, to chat about the nipple...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The President of the Dolphins Leagues Club in Betoota Heights has lashed out and purchased a scrum machine which has brought much joy to people around town. Not because President Mitchell Curtis wanted to help his boys with their scrum work, he bought the machine just for a laugh. Traditionally, the rugby league scrum is much less intense than the...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact "Fuck!" she said sharply. "Fuck!" Lucy Taylor's handbag fell off the table and predictably lands upside down - in the middle of a French Quarter cafe. Her most private possessions, some she didn't even know she had, are now on public display for all to see. Everyday items like her comb, hairpins, cigarettes, makeup and an unregistered Glock...

KENT REGINALD | Office | CONTACT A local sales executive and current office foosball champion is convinced that his natural sales acumen and ability to write emails that are both friendly AND professional means he would absolutely crush it in any zombie apocalypse scenario, it is being reported. Michael ‘Dragon’ Draginski, a 27 year old Sales Exec at a Betoota IT firm who...