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The President of the Dolphins Leagues Club in Betoota Heights has lashed out and purchased a scrum machine which has brought much joy to people around town.

Not because President Mitchell Curtis wanted to help his boys with their scrum work, he bought the machine just for a laugh.

Traditionally, the rugby league scrum is much less intense than the one seen in the blue blood variation of the sport.

Almost no self-respecting league club in the country would own a scrum machine, according to Curtis.

“That’s what makes it funny,” he laughed.

“I’ve seen the fourth-grade lads pack down against it. They bloody near stood there for fifteen minutes trying to work out how the thing works! [laughs] Jesus fucking wept, mate. I’ll tell you what. Go down there and have a look for yourself,”

“I don’t know why I didn’t think of doing it sooner. Shit it’s funny. Go look at them!”

However, not everybody is laughing.

One man who’s spoken out against the newest white elephant in the club is Treasurer Liam Buswell.

He’s not sure if spending $1900 on a piece of equipment nobody knows how to or particularly wants to use is very good for the club both socially and financially.

“There’s a perfectly good one that the union boys use just over there,” he said, pointing.

“Look, I don’t mean the be the shit on the shoe here and suck the fun out of it but come the fuck on, Bridget. That’s a lot of money to spend on nothing,”

“The club’s been looking to buy a courtesy bus and that $1900 is at least half a clapped out Hiace?”

More to come.



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