The hardest working bloke in Parliament House, plumber Gerry Godrich (54) is enjoying a well-earned sleep-in this morning as he no longer has to show up to work to change the bubblers on his Sunday morning.

This follows the news that Australians will remain divided by a ten-year life expectancy gap, after a multimillion dollar campaign to ‘stop the division’.

As the nation awakes on this Sunday morning, the No Campaigners have moved on to outrage over trans Halloween decorations or some shit.

Those who Campaign for Yes are wondering why Prime Minister Anthony Albanese made the unwise decision to send Kevin Rudd overseas on a diplomatic posting when he and Malcolm Turnbull were just starting to turn up on the heat on their calls for a Royal Commission into the Murdoch Media.

The only person who can truly claim a win from yesterday’s result is Gerry as he snuggles with his missus in his cosy queen bed in Tuggeranong, because he is not required to go to work and change the bubblers today.

“Work has been hectic ever since I had to quickly relocate all those hot tubs from the prayer room” stated Gerry, sporting a hot mug of coffee, a messy head of hair and a bit of shagger’s grin.

“God it is nice to have a break this morning.”

“Changing every single bubbler was going to be a total pain in my ass. Luckily, the nation voted to just let things be.”



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