LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
In a headline that makes the writer sound old as the invention of light, it has been confirmed that at one point in time paying more for something used to mean the thing got better.
In case you have been living under a rent controlled rock, the price of everything has risen like Jesus on Easter Sunday but without the convenience of someone else paying for our sins.
Although we are paying more for things like petrol, groceries, grog and services, the actual quality of the things we are paying for is identical to what it was before with the exception of things that have actually gotten worse.
This wasn’t always the case however, as it has been confirmed that paying a few extra bucks usually bought you a side of chips, a nicer vintage or an air travel experience with staff who actually hoped you would make it to your destination unmangled.
“When I was a wee lad, we could see a double feature of Citizen Kane and Gone With The Wind for half a penny, that included your metre ration of licorice and we got a serial in between,” stated Betoota’s oldest man Rhudolphius Gecklebar (111).
“For x900 times that price I sat through that Super bloody Mario hullabaloo with my youngest grandchild while he ate my pensions worth in popcorn.”
“Took out his iPad halfway through he did and I didn’t blame him one dot. Of course, our iPads were made from wood and you couldn’t get movies on them, they were just a stick you’d throw at a girl to let them know you fancied them. They were half a penny from the stickman or you could do like my dad used to and make your own out of a bigger stick and a whale bone whittling knife.”
“Of course the whale meat was cheaper back then too. Half a penny it was and much juicer than the taff they try to pass off as fillet of fish nowadays. Big as hubcaps they were too, not that we knew what they were, only the really rich could afford cars, four and twenty half pennies they were, able to sit nineteen with standing room for eight and two shepherd dogs.”
MORE TO COME.