RA Chairman Hamish McLennan and several Wallabies selectors have been praised today for stepping outside of their comfort zone and visiting a public high school over the weekend, for the first time in the history of Australian Rugby Union.

The ground-breaking milestone comes after the Australian side was sent home 2023 French Rugby World Cup in the group stages – also for the first time in the history of Australian Rugby Union.

Speaking to media outside of the prominent Queensland state high school following the landmark moment, McLennan said that there was officially enough graduates of state government funded schools playing in both international and domestic representative football teams to warrant a visit from the governing body.

“We come to realise a good Wallaby is not necessarily someone who is familiar with wearing a cain boater hat” he said, while removing the helmet of his HAZMAT biosafety suit and wiping the sweat from his forehead.

However the Mosman powerbrokers, keen to cast a wider net outside of the one suburb and four elite private schools that make up the Australian rugby grassroots, also came bearing gifts.

“Here, grab yourself a Wallabies beret young fellows” said McLennan.

“We have a leather RM Williams ball as well. But I don’t want to cause any youth crime over such an expensive household item… It’s probably wiser that I give this to your headmast… Oh sorry, your principal”

After witnessing the raw power and natural talent on display in this pool of working class whites and second generation Polynesians, McLennan could not deny that there was a bit of talent outside of Rugby Australia’s current grassroots programs”

“These young men have proven that anyone can play top level rugby union, whether they are privately educated or barely educated at all”

“The fact that my selectors and I have even left New South Wales should be a good enough indicator of how well these young pagans are doing… To get our attention outside of Sydney AND outside of the GPS systems. That means we’ve got some real footballers on our hands”

“I don’t want to make hollow promises, but given the pleasant reception we were met with today… We are considering a continuation of this kind of philanthropy”

“Whatever we can do to keep these kids off the streets and out of prison”


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