ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

West Australian Police say they’re investigating claims that a section of the Kwinana Freeway that was stolen last night is being hidden in plain sight.

Perth-based detectives say they received information this morning via CrimeStoppers that the missing slab of tarmac is being kept in the middle of Optus Stadium, where a game of Test cricket is currently being played between Australia and Pakistan.

Detective Sergeant (DS) Mark Block addressed the media a short time ago, telling reporters that they’re investigating many avenues of inquiry at the moment. Optus Stadium being just one of them.

“It’s no atypical for a wicket in Perth to have the same characteristics as a length of paved road,” said DS Block.

“However, that was at the old WACA. It’s certainly worth investigating, considering what we’ve seen so far in this Test match. A few park cricketers pitching it up to David Warner and letting him take what he wants like he’s at some sort of cricketer’s buffet,”

“So it certainly is suspicious. Detectives have spoken to the curators and they did say they were called away for a few hours at 3am after the fire alarm went off. Cricket Australia certainly has a motive. We will see what comes up,”

“There was a section of the Polly Pipe (Northbridge Tunnel) also went missing but that road’s been fucked since before Troy Buswell literally tired to fuck it so it can’t be that.”

The Advocate reached out to Cricket Australia for comment but they said unless we had some Smiths sunglasses for the board, they wouldn’t be making any comment.

More to come.


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