Emily Gonzalez was doing her best to avoid pinching the bridge of her nose this morning. Not because her fellow IT consultant Ricky Heidelberg had done anything to grind her gears, but because they were both sitting on a conference call, with an external company, that could have and probably should have been an email.

Gonzalez told us that she had a feeling that the call was going to be a waste of her time, after being asked to join her colleagues as they discuss a 50-word email they all just read an hour before.

“Yeah, Rick told me we had to go into the conference room and go through some technical things with these morons, and I knew that we were in for it,” she said.

While watching another wave of more important emails pop up on her phone while navigating her way through the pointless half hour of listening to someone explain things worse than she can, Emily says she’s got no problem saying ‘oh yeah, definitely’ to random shit.

“I’m not one of those cucks who hates being dragged away from their desk because I have so much ‘important work to do,’ but I couldn’t be less interested in someone’s plan to ‘iron out the kinks’ in a new internal software program that no one will ever use.


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