Following the news that Triple Js iconic Hottest 100 music contest will no longer be played on Australia Day, the vulnerable Prime Minister Turnbull is torn as to whether or not throwing his two cents around in an attempt to win support from upset members of Reclaim Australia.

The scheduling change was announced yesterday and has caused significant brouhaha among proud colonialists Aussies, with some criticising the ABC for seeking to “delegitimise” Australia Day.

Turnbull who has recently returned to using the word ‘boats’ a lot more, after losing a vast number of members in the Federal lower house to citizenship drama, is wondering whether teeing off on the ‘change the date’ movement might be his chance to emulate Howard’s criticism of Big Day Out banning Aussie flag capes.

“Not sure If I want to jump in on this just yet” said the plagued leader of the Coalition.

“If the postal vote had come back with a majority No, I definitely would be”

“I’ll leave it to a few no-name backbenchers and Christensen for now”

A statement from the ABC board published this morning said the decision to move the date of the countdown would “benefit everyone”.

“Triple j’s community continues to celebrate the countdown and the great music, now over an extended weekend, while the network has more time to join the rest of the ABC in providing comprehensive coverage of Australia Day,” the statement said.

Turnbull has also pointed out that he is not in a position to talk about Australian music, following his colossal fuck up last week in which he exposed himself as someone who couldn’t even name one ACDC song.


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