The economic pinch is reaching further into society as footwear company Birkenstock goes public meaning their loyal customers might end up paying more next time they buy a pair of sandal’s wanky cousins.

Although they missed the opportunity to call their shares Birken Stocks, Birkenstock have stated they are looking forward to the future opportunities going public might offer such as making a shoe that covers the entire foot.

However, many are sceptical about their favourite shoe going public with stay-at-home dads and lesbians the most concerned that they will be paying more for their beloved Last Supper Sandals.

“Hmm, I don’t know about this, they’re dear enough as it is,” stated Betoota local Audrey Kris who first learnt she was gay when she couldn’t get over how good she looked in a pair of Birkenstocks.

“Might have to ask my wife to start buying her own instead of always borrowing mine ‘just for the afternoon’.”

“Hmmm, yeah, I know what you mean,” stated local stay-at-home-dad Jamie Rothsmen, who reckons he’s always had a good rapport with the local lesbian population.

“They’re worth paying for that’s for sure, just need to be extra careful our pugs don’t end up chewing on them that’s for sure.”



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