JASON BARRY | Victorian Leg Tennis | Contact

In the weird, oft-forgotten fringe community of local Betootanese boys who actually enjoy playing Victorian Leg Tennis, a spectacular mark has ended in embarrassment this afternoon.

The mark in question occurred during the Greater Betoota and Diamantina Districts FNL preliminary final match between the Moonda Lakes-Diamantina Sculpins and the Lake Betoota Mullets.

The mark, one that could only be described as a Cazaly-like speccy that saw time slow down as the player hung in the air for several minutes, was performed by Mullets jet, Louis Dew (21).

According to witnesses, Dew climbed up the back of Sculpins defender, Leroy Stephens (48), an older player with bad knees who probably didn’t deserve that kind of disrespect.

Up where the air is crisp, Dew clunked the odd-shaped Victorian Leg Tennis shuttle cock in his notoriously vice-like grip.
It was at this point where everything began to go wrong.

Gravity appeared to catch Dew from his high-flying revelry and bring him crashing back down to the hard earth. Unfortunately for the silky-skilled jet, his face caught his fall, and the rest of his body crumpled down on top of his head like a slinky falling down a set of stairs.

To make matters worse, the entirety of his face landed smack bang in the middle of a fresh puddle of Kangaroo droppings, leaving a brown smattering of stinky filth across the inner side of his mouth, up his nostrils and inside the corners of his eyeballs.

Blinded by Roo poo, Dew stumbled to his feet, before a quick-thinking runner came to his aid to remove the dung from his eyes so that he could take what would be the match winning shot at goal.

“Geez, it was embarrassing,” Dew told our reporter after the match.

“Just bloody happy I kicked the goal afterwards.”

The Advocate can report that after Dew’s late game heroics, the Mullets now advance to the country league’s Grand Final next week, where they are set to play the undefeated Tanbar Honey Badgers.

More to come.


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