An aspiring theatre actor has been consoled today by the automatic transfer of millions of dollars into her savings account, after reporting a high-profile colleague that sexually assaulted her in the work place.

“Woo hoo!” she shouts, as she drives through the countryside in a brand new Ferrari that she just paid for outright.

“This is what it’s all about”

The victim, Anna, says she actually wasn’t going to speak up about the traumatic incident that happened to her late last year – but a number of things persuaded her to report the crimes to both the police and her employers:

For one, the brave women that brought about the Harvey Weinstein effect – and the subsequent sexual assualt victims of other egotistical male celebrities around the world were very inspiring for Anna.

And two, the cash!

“The fact that I saw other women doing it instilled confidence in me” she says.

“But also that cash you magically make from outing sexual predators was a big factor in my decision to air my darkest moments to the world – and have them question my motives behind getting assaulted”

“But a lot of people have decided to contact me via social media to tell me they know I did it for the lucrative amounts of cash available for sexual assault victims with very little support networks in an industry that doesn’t respect them”

It is not yet known where this money that has been transferred into Anna’s account has come from, seeing as though she’s had to pay her own legal fees and no Australian media organisation is in the financial position to pay people for interviews anymore – but she’s already making the most of it.

“Look at my new wheels” she giggles.

“This has been awesome!”


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