An open-minded inner-city progressive from the Sydney suburb of Balmain has today called for an entire services work force to be sacked and automated, after his 10 minute commute home became a 20 minute commute.

33-year-old Axl Breckett has worked out of Kings Cross for over three years now as a graphic designer, but never in his life has he seen the kind of disorder and “third-world bullshit” that he experienced at Central Station yesterday.

“What is this? Mumbai?” he says, while ordering his first of three pulled-pork-based meals that he will eat today.

“Actually, Mumbai’s rail system never stuffs up. That was a bad example. I went there a couple years ago… You should try the street chai – it’s amazing”

“But yes, it was crowded and hot and made me feel like I was in Mumbai”

Axl says that while he understands more than most people that worker’s rights are something that need to be respected and prioritised, when it comes to issues directly affecting him – it’s hard not to wonder if there’s a better way to do it.

“I mean, let’s be honest. These jobs are going to be automated in a few years anyway. Why not cut to the chase. I’m sorry, but, like seriously? Staff shortages? These people shouldn’t be allowed to strike if a whole city needs to get to work”

This comes as the head of Sydney Trains says claims made by Axl and his similarly cold-hearted corporate creatives are a “complete exaggeration”, despite thousands of customers being left stranded for a second day in a row.

Commuters are facing delays and cancellations again this morning, following major disruptions yesterday when the transport system buckled under pressure as a result of lightning strikes, staff shortages and the introduction of the new timetable.


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