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Denise Coleman, who left Betoota during the Great Brain Drain of 2004, said she’s beginning to regret her decision to move to the Harbour capital.

She saw the city as Australia’s only truly international city, a place where she could put her hard-won commerce degree to good use.

So she took the plunge and moved down there with an overnight bag full of dreams and the savings from a summer job.

That was then.

This morning, the 37-year-old risk analyst is riding to work on a filthy, unairconditioned train with two thousand of her closest friends.

Denise spoke to The Advocate a short time ago via mobile messaging service, WhatsApp.

“I hate this city,” she said.

“Why would you spend all that money on two fucking stadiums? Because some fucking Roosters fans and private school boy rah-rah legends complained about the wait time for hot chips? The other stadium, if it was a person, would barely be old enough to drink in a fucking pub!”

“It’s like Campbell Newman is running the show here. Useless! Mate, I don’t even live that far out of town. Imagine we’re talking about Brisbane. I reckon I’d be somewhere around Bracken Ridge. But somehow it’s hotter and filthy down here. Sorry, I’m just so tired of doing this.”

After hearing of Denise’s plight on the coalface of the Sydney experience, a number of local financial institutions were keen to get in touch with her.

One in particular, Berkshire Hathaway Betoota, explained to our reporters that since they decentralized and moved their Australian office to Betooticon Valley last year, productivity has been up significantly.

The Nebraska-based multinational said they’d be open to interviewing Ms Coleman for an upcoming position.

However, she explained that she’d have to politely decline the offer.

“But all my friends live here and if I went home, I’d be so, so bored. It sounds like a good job and I invest in crypto like Warren Buffett but yeah, Betoota’s just a bit too Adelaide for me right now.”

More to come.


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