Fruit and vegetables are best judged by the size of the gold cross buried in the chest hair of the bloke spruiking them to you.

A gold cross necklace is any necklace featuring a Christian cross or crucifix worn by a variation of different Christians. They are often received as gifts for rites such as baptism and confirmation.

However, in the suburban Australian interpretation of Orthodox Christianity, they are worn as a sign of fruit market prowess.

While Roman Catholicism symbols were also prominent at the fruit markets, as well as the occasional iconography of Chinese fortune – the Greek Orthodox cross is metric for good quality and good value fruit and veggies.

That’s according to the Australian industry body, the Fruit, Eggs, Veggies, Oils and Legumes Association (FEVOLA).

“The bigger the cross, the fresher the fruit. Simple as that” said a spokesperson for the group Effie Xenophon.

“It’s also a fair indicator of how skilful the bloke is at reversing a forklift at 20 kilometres per hour through a crowd of half-awake greengrocers”


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