Usually, the high point of a corporate drone’s daily grind, lunchtime at B&E Finance left a sour taste in the mouth of HR Rep and office foodie Hilary Melton (32) who was privately disappointed no one asked about her curry that she warmed in the office microwave.

Known for generating interest amongst her co-workers during the hours of 12 pm – 2 pm for her appealing home-cooked leftovers, Melton failed to generate any positive press today as she reheated her daal with homemade rotis.

Unconfirmed reports state Melton even spent extra time in the kitchen after she had heated through her main and sides before begrudgingly sitting at her desk and eating her lunch while browsing coffee tables on the IKEA website.

“Should be looking for new jobs the way this lot has treated me today. Unbelievable. I made my own masala for this you know.”

Melton’s co-workers state that while many of them usually comment on her lunch, they decided not to today as she has brought in more impressive food before and her daal ultimately looked like a bowl full of mush.

“We’re talking about a woman who once tempered her own chocolate on the sandwich press. She’s done better and we can’t be going ‘oooh that looks nice, what’s that?’ every day can we?”

For Melton, this is no excuse and states the lack of praise for her lunch can be attributed to a classic case of tall poppy syndrome.

“Vish tried some of my kedgeree once and said it tasted like a real one from India. They’re just jealous because they eat the same ham and cheese from 7/11 every day. I’ve seen Christine scrape the lettuce off a Bondi Burger once so who cares about her opinion. Fuck em all.”


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here