While most men his age are busy spitting on a bus or simply being dead, Sir Michael Caine continues to make a living as an A-List Hollywood actor due to his ageing cockney charm and the fact that he’s looking pretty alright for an old fella.

Born in 1933, Michael Caine achieved great fame after acting in a string of hit films in the ‘60s and ‘70s before making a comeback in the naughties due to his nostalgic appeal and the need to professional impersonators to have more Michael Caine material.

Head of the Michael Caine Appreciation Society, Wayne Carthon (48) states that comparing the legendary actor to any other 85-year-old you know is really an unfair comparison.

“At his age, you’d expect him to have hair on his ears and liver spots across his bald head that maybe has some weird indentation in it. But these days he looks good as and only makes the occasional pro-Brexit rant.”

While there have been concerns for the Oscar winners health in recent years, Carthon states that die-hard Caine fans (known as Caine Brains) have nothing to worry about as he claims the veteran actor can rock a walking frame better than anyone his age.

“Can you imagine that Ryan Gosling or Jared Leto is going to look that good at his age? No fucking way. Kaine can rock a walking frame better than those soft cocks could now!”

The interview was cut short when Carthon began his Michael Caine impersonation and our reporters were forced to flee from the scene fearing a Christopher Walken or William Shatner impersonation was on the way.


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