Since the ABS announced almost two-thirds of Australia voted in favour of marriage equality in the postal plebiscite, no campaigners around the nation have been spotted returning to their safe spaces.

“End of days is coming mate. I’m hitting the pews while the sky’s still blue.”

After a respectful debate involving physical abuse, disempowering language and homophobic slurs, the nation’s conservative Christian populations have now retreated to their safe spaces where everyone is equal but not actually.

“Soaking up the last bit of sanity before they all come in here to get married! Well, I’ll stop them, it will come to blows if it has to! There’s nothing in The Bible against that!”

Reports state current activities in these safe spaces include teary group singalongs and circle time.

“We’re a minority now, it’s official. We’ve got to stick together to protect ourselves from the type of persecution we’ve been dishing out for the last couple of years.”

“Seriously, I do not want to be on the receiving end of that.”

No campaigners are hoping the brick walls built upon various levels of discrimination dressed as morals will protect them from the impending equality coming their way.

“If Father marries a gay couple here I’m going to marry a dog here. My safe space, my rules.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here