LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
Residents of Betoota Ramesses II Street have learnt there is a new alpha family in town upon hearing the unmelodious and raucous sound of a big dog set of wind chimes.
Originally made of bamboo and bone, the first wind chimes were invented in 3000 BC when residents of South East Asia wanted to make the wind less annoying.
Thought to ward off evil spirits, modern wind chimes are now used to announce the presence of the sort of neighbour who is going to park their car out the front of your house to preserve their own nature strip.
It is a feeling that is all too familiar for residents of Ramesses II Street in Betoota Heights, where a new family has made it clear they are in the centre of the street as their tubular bells ding and dong with the deafening swaying of the wind.
“They are going to get so competitive with Christmas decorations I can just tell,” stated one beta neighbour.
“Then their New Years party is going to be loud as anything, an absolute belter. I’d be angrier about that but they’ve already sent me a paper invite.”
“Fuck, they’ve already got an MPs poster in their yard. There’s not even an election coming up.”
Newly demoted beta residents of Ramesses II street have stated they wish they could have prevented some of this big dog behaviour with one of those bullshit controlling neighbourhood associations only to learn the big dogs have already drafted the paperwork for one such association with their 15 year old son as chairman.