A new mother from Betoota’s rapidly gentrifying light industrial district, Betootaville, has made it clear to her parents, husband and friends that her child will not be lying in anything that cannot withstand hollow-point sniper bullets or a military drone strike.

The young mother, Olivia, has told her husband to leave everything to do with baby-related accessories to her, because she’s the only one who isn’t going to skimp on what is obviously 100% vital in the infantile years of their new daughter.

“The eight-wheeler infant stroller is the only option, it’s actually got caterpillar track around them and it’s made from the same stuff as the black hawk helicopters”

Kevlar is a well-known component of personal armor such as combat helmets, ballistic face masks, and ballistic vests. The PASGT helmet and vest used by United States military forces, use Kevlar as a key component in their construction.

Other military uses include bulletproof facemasks and spall linersused to protect the crews of armoured fighting vehicles. Nimitz-class aircraft carriers utilise Kevlar reinforcement in vital areas. Civilian applications include, high heat resistance uniforms worn by Fire Fighters, Body armour worn by Police Officers, security, and police tactical teams such as SWAT.

However, this technology has now made it’s way to baby products, and despite the $18,000 price tag, the new Israeli-made baby strollers are flying out the door.

“I’m not going to settle for anything else” she says.

“If other people want to put their kids at risk, that’s up to them, they can go for the standard four-wheeler”

“But, our child will not leave the house without the kevlar shade cover and hydraulic suspension”


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