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Local bloke, Stew Pidcarnt (31) has just flown about as close to the sun as you’d wanna fly.

After a heated argument with his girlfriend about a number of his social, financial and emotional shortcomings – Stew decides to metaphorically pour an entire jerry can on the fire that is his girlfriend.

He does this firstly by suggesting she might be pre-menstrual in the early stages of her argument – leaving her to explain exactly how far away that is – and two, eventually insinuating that he is behaving like a feline.

“Well reoooow!” he says to his girlfriend, with his hands mimicking a cat paw.

“Someones a bit catty [ha ha]”

Stew’s girlfriend, Kathy, briefly blacks out… Before returning to consciousness with a look in her eyes that suggests he might want to leave the living room pretty quickly.

As she struggles to talk, Stew continues to giggle.

“[ha ha] What’s wrong. Here kitty kitty!”

“Reooooowwwww!”

Neighbours who have overheard the exchange say they have called police and are expecting the worse.

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