An iconic Australian groper was reported to have travelled all the way into the shallow waters at Clovelly beach over the weekend, after not being seen or heard from in close to a decade.

The male groper, who’s existence has been dragged back into headlines over the last fortnight for swimming a little bit too close to the shore – was seen navigating it’s way through the crowds of people who felt paralysed by the power that was wielded by such such an iconic identity.

“The groper brushed right past my lower back” said one distressed female.

“It felt slimey and predatory. Lucky my male partner was there to tell him to fuck off – it was so creepy”

It is believed several Bra Boys from nearby Maroubra beach arrived at the concrete poolside with a spear gun in a hope to take down the groper, after locals feared for the safety of female swimmers with it around.

“You wanna go, bra?” shouted one of the local surfers.

“Get the fuck out of here. Gropers not welcome”

The groper was able to flee the waters unhurt after several prominent channel 9 executives persuaded the local vigilantes to let it go free without repercussion for it’s antisocial behaviour.


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