ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

If you didn’t know Alistair Downlands-Saddlewood, you’d think he’d just be another tired old gibbering cunt with too much money and time to burn.

But to those that know him, he’s a polite and kind senior member of the Betoota Heights society.

The 67-year-old is an active member of the Royal Betoota Golf Club and volunteers for his local Rotary Association, Meals on Wheels and also coaches youth tennis.

Alistair believes the key to happiness is giving back to those less fortunate them him.

To his friends, he’s a good man.

However, when Michael Glenfont passed him as he boarded this morning’s Qantas service to Rockhampton, he came to the conclusion that Alistair is just another ageing male with too much money and time to burn.

“Who the fuck even flying domestic business?” Michael said as he found his economy seat next to our reporter.

“I’ll tell you who. Rich old white dickheads with too much money. Flying domestic business is a sign from God that you’ve got too much money. I mean, it’s only three hours to the coast. Who can’t do three hours in a seat like this?”

“Anyway, you should listen to this podcast. It’s called the Joe Rogan Experience and they talk about shit like drugs and kickboxing. It’s grouse.”

However, upon landing in the capital of Queensland beef, The Advocate caught up with Mr Downlands-Saddlewood to ask him a few questions about his experiences flying in the front of the plane.

While he was initially sheepish about doing it, he soon opened up as to why he chooses to fly in the red seats as opposed to ‘slumming it’ in cattle class.

“He’s basically right, you know,” he said.

“I can afford it so why not. Put it this way, if you were in my position, would you do it? Yeah sure, I’ve made a few dollars here and there in business and I’ve been quite successful  and to be honest, I couldn’t give two fucks about what anybody has to say about it,”

“To answer your question, no it’s not worth the money. It’s an absolute rip off and it shouldn’t even exist. But I’m old and rich so I can do whatever the fuck I want. If arson wasn’t illegal, I’d burn down one of my investment properties such to watch it burn.”

More to come.



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