A sun-kissed vagrant that bathes in public toilets and charges his phone at McDonalds is still a dreamboat, according to local girls.

After three years of unemployment, spent bouncing around headlands in a non-roadworthy van that he bought from his uncle with an interest free-loan from his grandmother, local surfie Jake Garbs is more desirable than ever.

Hundreds of his brief beachside flings say that Jake’s lack of direction and work ethic becomes nothing more than a minuscule personality flaw, once they learn that he knows how to play Jack Johnson’s ‘Taylor’ on a ukulele that he keeps strapped to the back of his headrest.

Despite the fact that his current lifestyle would be branded as homelessness in any other part of the country the foam mattress covered in blankets in the back of his 1987 Hiace, which is actually quite hot.

Local 19-year-old, Ella, says that after being given the tour of jake’s collection of faded orange Penguin books that sit bungee-strapped to a makeshift bookshelf attached to his slide door, she completely forgot that he was twelve years older than her.

“He’s so hot. Did you know he lives in that van?” she says.

“He just drives it to different beaches along the peninsula and parks it on the headlands”

Jake was unavailable for comment but did point out that he wants to get a stove top to cook on over illegal camp fires in national parks.


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