CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact

Andrew Slang (33), a local cocaine and ecstasy dealer, has last night revealed to one his most loyal customers just how serious he takes his job.

After roughly an hour turn-around between being contacted and arriving with the illicit substances, Andrew is not taking risks.

“That was pretty quick by me” he says to his customer, a finance professional by the name of Hugo, through the window of his souped up Subaru WRX STI.

“I took a big risk by driving here that fast. I don’t want to risk getting caught”

As Andrew lowers the electric window to just past his his eyesight, he makes it clear to Hugo that he ain’t fucking around.

“Get in”

Like many full-time drug procurers, Andrew finds a slow lap around the block with his customised ‘cannon’ exhaust echoing through the entire suburb, to be the best and safest place to make a transaction with his client.

“I don’t want to just do it out front” he says.

Hugo, who was more than willing to invite Andrew into his own home if it meant he didn’t need to get into this piece of copbait again, reluctantly agrees.

“Lets make it quick”

After fending off several questions relating to life and interests outside this particular scenario, it becomes clear to Hugo that simply by sitting in this car he could be up for ten years – judging by the amount of gear rumoured to be in the glovebox.

“You been watching the new Stranger Things” asks Andrew.

“No. Not really. Don’t watch much TV. Hey, have you got the bag?” says Hugo.

“Yeah just a sec. I was watching that doco you posted about of Facebook the other day” says Andrew.

“How do you know what I’m posting on Facebook [haha]” asks Hugo nervously.

“Oh I just looked you up. Wanted to see if you wanted to get some beers sometime”

Hugo sighs, it’s another drug dealer that wants to be friends in real life.

“Sure man. Text me sometime. You got that bag?”




Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here