Up to 16 NewsCorp employees are facing the axe today, as the National Rugby League continues it’s record-breaking six month streak without a salary cap, betting, domestic or cocaine-related scandal.

The lack of gee’d up sports journalism has seen a rapid decline in newspaper circulations throughout rugby league heartlands, as punters in New South Wales no longer feel the need to pick up a copy of the Daily Telegraph to read back to front.

The head offices of NewsLimited in Sydney’s Surry Hills announced the redundancies this week, after their predictions of at least three more cocaine trafficking busts involving ex-NRL players turned cafe owners in the Eastern Suburbs failed to come through.

This marks the bitter repercussions of the unprecedented six month lull without scandals or dramas.

Last month, even NRL CEO Todd Greenberg admitted that it was ‘kinda weird’ to see such a lack of NRL scandals across the off-season/silly-season.

“It’s kind of like, in 2016 we had well and truly had a few scandals before Mitchell Pearce humped that dog” he said.

“Maybe they’ve started taking their job a bit seriously now they’ve seen how all those grubs in the arts behave. I congratulate the young men of the NRL. They are evidently of much better moral fibre than anyone working in theatre”

“But yes, this is getting fucking weird”

Greenberg says considering all players have been resting for so long, it’s usually this time of the year that they start getting a bit antsy

“I’m surprised we haven’t had a few more house visits to be honest. Steroids aren’t even that big of a deal”

“You never know, though. We could have an ex-player on youtube punching on in the street of his hometown at any minute. But they’ve really impressed me this year”

“But fuck me, 6 months. Touch wood”



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